Failure is always an option. You must realize that you’re not going to try one thing and see success from that point on. Failure is a very important part of the process and should never get you down.

If you focus too intensely on whether or not you are going to succeed, then you are dooming yourself to failure. When you are nervous, there are chemical reactions in your body that will, quite simply, make premature ejaculation more likely.

It is completely okay if you cum too soon. You’re learning, remember? You wouldn’t expect to pick up a guitar for the very first time and sound like a rock star. You shouldn’t expect the same thing in the bedroom. If it happens to you, just take a deep breathe, relax, and try to figure out what went wrong. Becoming frustrated and quitting will only ensure that you never reach your goals. Failure is part of the process.

Once you realize that you can fail, you can relax and enjoy the process. Once you’re relaxed, you can avoid those chemical reactions that are working against you and you will naturally be less likely to ejaculate prematurely.

You’re probably spending most of your time worrying about what your woman thinks about your premature ejaculation. The whole reason you open this guide was so you last longer with another person, rather than during a masturbation session, right?

While it is true to a certain extent that women love guys who can last for hours in bed, this is not always the case. It probably isn’t even the case every single time for the same woman. You must remember that women are just people, too, and they have their own insecurities.

During sex, while you’re worrying about how early you’re going to cum, she’s probably worrying about how she looks, whether you really like her, how much you care for her, etc.. The list of worries that women have can easily double when compared to a man’s.

Don’t think of women as judgmental creatures who will laugh about you behind your back and tell all of her friends that you only lasted three minutes before blowing your load all over her legs. Like I said, they are people, too.

In fact, most women actually like it when a man occasionally ejaculates early. It makes them feel sexy and powerful. The way they see it, is that when a man can’t control himself enough to stave off his orgasm, it’s because he finds the woman so attractive that he just blows his load. Feeling so sexy that they can make you shoot your man gravy across the room with just a few strokes or thrusts is a very powerful feeling for them.

It is very important to realize this, because it means that you don’t have to spend time worrying about the woman looking down on you after you ejaculate early. She is probably worrying more about herself than you. Again, when you realize this, it will hopefully make you more relaxed and therefore put you in control. The fact you are okay with failing means you will have the confidence to try out these new techniques in the bedroom and will be in full control in no time.

You’ve now learned the psychological side to ending premature ejaculation. You know what it takes to master the inner game of ejaculation control.

The physical approach to ending premature ejaculation is like the outer game of ejaculation control. In this section I will be giving you a variety of different techniques you can use to increase how long you last in the bedroom.

Controlling your arousal levels is a big part of ejaculation control. In the psychological approach section, we discussed how if you can control your levels of arousal you can control your levels of ejaculation. In this section we’re going to build on that knowledge, because when you’re actually having sex it’s essential to be aware of your level of arousal.

What most guys know about their level of arousal is one of three things, flaccid, erect or experiencing orgasm. If you want to be a master of your ejaculation then this simply isn’t good enough.

The best way to look at it is to recognize that there are 5 levels of arousal that will help you with premature ejaculation.

Flaccid: not aroused.

Full erection, nothing more than that: Think of this level as being similar to when you used to have involuntary erections when you were a teenager. You are erect, but there’s not much arousal going on besides the physical erection.

Receiving stimulation, both physical and psychological, but a long way from ejaculation: This a good place to be while having sex.

The point of no return: You are highly stimulated and you are seconds away from ejaculation and even if you stopped stimulation you would still ejaculate.

Orgasm.

It’s important to understand all of these levels of arousal, but none are more important than arousal level 3 and 4. Ideally, you will be spending most of your time while having sex in level 3.

The big difference between someone who is able to last a long time in bed and someone who can’t last more than a few minutes or even seconds is their ability to recognize the onset of level 4. As stated above, level 4 is the point of no return. Once you completely enter level 4 arousal, you are going to ejaculate and there’s nothing you can do about it. You must develop the skill to recognize the onset of level 4. This may seem like a big challenge, but let me assure you that it’s definitely something that can be mastered.

How to recognize the onset of level 4

There is only one real way to learn how to recognize the onset of level 4 and that is through experience. The best way to learn is through masturbation.

You could do this through sex, although I don’t recommend that because you’ll probably have other things to concentrate on and it’s easier to stop a hand from moving than the person you’re having sex with.

So here is what you need to do:

1. Start masturbating

2. Set out the intention recognize the onset of level 4.

3. If you normally ejaculate within a few seconds or minutes of masturbating then go slower than you usually would.

4. As your masturbating be aware of any possible sign that you’re moving into level 4 arousal

5. As soon as think you might be entering level 4 arousal instantly stop all stimulation.

6. One of two things will happen

• You will stop too late and you will end up ejaculating anyway
• You will stop and you will not ejaculate

7. If you stop too late and ejaculate then make a mental note that you need to stop stimulation earlier next time

8. If you stop and you don’t ejaculate then take a 20 second break and carry on again. Keep going again until you think you’re about to reach level 4 arousal, except this time keep the stimulation going for slightly longer than the first time. Again stop and wait for 20 seconds. Repeat this process until you find a point where you ejaculate just after stopping stimulation. This means you will have identified the point at which level 4 arousal begins for you. Next time just stop stimulation slightly earlier than the point at which you entered level 4 arousal last time

9. Repeat steps 1 to 8 over and over again, at least 10 times. In fact you should make this routine for every time you masturbate.

10. Eventually you will get an intuitive sense of when you are about to reach level 4 arousal. As soon as you reach level 4 you will know to stop stimulation.

After mastering this technique you should masturbate for at least 15 minutes every time. While masturbating as soon as you recognize the onset of level 4 you should stop stimulation. You can then carry on after a 20 second break (or longer if you need it). Using this technique you can easily enjoy masturbating for 15 minutes or much longer before ejaculation.

This will provide a good habit for you so that when it comes to having sex, lasting for a longer time will be a normal process for you. Once you understand the different levels of arousal you can really begin to have fun in bed. If you can keep yourself at level 3 for sustained periods of time (which should easily be possible with the techniques in this guide) you will become a master at pleasing your partner.

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