Giving Her An Orgasm - Chapter 6: Level 2 – Arousal
The beginning and one of the most crucial parts of the arousal stage is relaxation. I can’t stress enough how important it is to make sure that she is in a relaxed state. She needs to remain relaxed as you flow through the levels so the techniques will have the most desired effect.
The main thing that hinders relaxation is mental stress. Set her mind at ease and take her mind off of her everyday problems. When she’s with you; you don’t want her to be thinking about her job or problems with her family or friends. You want her concentrating on being content. Make her feel like she deserves to relax and unwind.
One thing to be conscious of is the level of relaxation. The highest level of relaxation is sleep so you don’t want to relax her so much that she ends up falling asleep before intercourse. A good way to keep her alert and receptive to sexual desire while relaxing her is to use techniques that combine relaxation with sexual desire. Anything that involves touching would work; especially massage.
There are two types of massage that can promote sexual desire. That is the standard Body Massage and the labial massage that directly stimulates her sexual arousal.
The place where a lot of men go wrong during the female orgasm process is relaxation. They neglect to realize how important it is for a woman’s body and mind to be relaxed during the entire process. They think that they need to keep the energy up to ignite the passion. The truth is; the passion will be much deeper if you make the effort to relax her and allow her arousal to build slowly.
Some men tend to think that women have the same sexual desires as we do. They do in many ways, but they approach it in a different way. You have to approach their sexual desire in a way that is comfortable for them and not just for you.
Men don’t need to feel completely relaxed to achieve an orgasm. You have to admit and accept that it is just easier for us to orgasm. Even if we are in a stressful situation; we could probably still explode with an orgasm if we are touched in the right way. Women are not like that. The sooner you embrace the differences between you and your partner; the sooner you will be able to satisfy all her sexual needs.
If your lover prefers a higher energy or wild lovemaking then you can still benefit from the relaxation techniques I will show you. Relaxation can also be seen as teasing. The more you tease your lover and build her anticipation; the better your sex will be. The following phases of relaxation should help you tremendously in putting your lover in the best state to receive sexual pleasure.
Explaining the Phases of Relaxation
It is extremely hard for any of us to go from one state of being to another rapidly. Every change in our bodies should be brought about slowly and progressively. Sudden changes cause a shock to the system and keeps you from being relaxed enough to receive optimal sexual pleasure. In this section; I will explain the different phases that you should go through to achieve the level of relaxation that is crucial to a satisfying female orgasm.
Phase 1: Relaxing Her Physically
In order for the mind to be relaxed, you must first relax her body. This can be done by using various breathing techniques or massage. We will go into more detail on massage later in this chapter. This phase will relax her muscles and relieve any tension that has built up in her body. Once her body is relaxed; you can move on to a deeper relaxation.
Phase 2: Calming Her Energy
Some of you might have assumed that calming her energy is the same as relaxing her physically, but it’s not. The energy I am referring to is her essence. It’s the energy or “glow” that makes her who she is. You’re going to want to nurture this glow and make her feel as blissful as possible. The state of her energy can affect both her physical and mental relaxation.
If you are calming your lover’s energy then she will begin to feel heavy. She will feel like she is sinking into the bed. Not so much so that she wants to go to sleep, but enough to where she feels that she is in a blissful state. Tell her to pay attention to her breathing. When she focuses on her breathing; it takes her mind off of other things and prepares her for mental relaxation. Have her breathe in through her nose and take in the energy around her then expel it by breathing out her mouth.
Phase 3: Relaxing Her Mind
The final phase of relaxation is relaxing the mind. This is where you will move on to a little more soft touching and you will begin to talk to her more. Use your hands and voice to relax her mentally and take away any worries of everyday life.
By this time; she should be feeling light as a feather. She no longer has that sinking feeling and begins to feel more like she is floating. You will probably begin to see that her breathing has become even slower. The will show that she is automatically moving into a deeper state of overall relaxation.